This is a photo that my friend Karen took of me telling a story at The Moth last night. I have terrible stage fright, and my heart races when people give me attention, but sometimes I like to do things to prove to myself that I am better than I think I am.
Also, everyone was very kind and gave me nice compliments after the show which made me blush and run away.
Cashier at Clothing Store: And did anyone help you out today?
Guy Just Trying to Buy a Couple of T-Shirts: Um, nope?
Cashier at Clothing Store: Oh, I’m sorry about that!
Guy Just Trying to Buy a Couple of T-Shirts: [suddenly wracked with guilt over basic retail independence] Really, it’s OK, I found the t-shirt wall on my own. Sorry!
He pays for the t-shirts and leaves, somewhat shaken.
The cashier doesn’t want to have to ask you that, trust. And he’s not sorry that no one helped you; he watched you pick out the shirt, and he knows how much help you required (none). But it’s part of his job to ask you that (and to ask for your zipcode, and for your email, and to invite you to apply for a credit card). They’re all dumb questions — there have to be better ways to collect this data — but it’s also important to note that if someone HAD helped you, they would have walked you to the cash wrap themselves to make sure they got credit for that sale. There is no direct monetary incentive (customers don’t like it when people are working on commission), but good sales might lead to more hours on the schedule, and when you’re making what they’re making, every hour counts.
Jon Stewart makes a joke. You know that right away, Jon realizes that what he’s said isn’t exactly what he meant. Then you wonder, “Is Letterman gonna address it?” and of course he does. Jon then calls out the whole thing.
Bar scene - great scene! Makes the viewer want to fall in love, which is the very best thing a scene about falling in love can do. A+
Make the whole rest of the movie just like this scene
So, with the lead’s memory intact and the couple happily in love, the conflict is now: her estrangement from her family. Let’s fix this. But why? His parents are dead, he wants some family. Plus he has regrets about his parents! MAYBE HE WAS ESTRANGED FROM THEM. He encourages her not to keep her bridges burnt. Okay, she agrees.
Reconciliation with the fam! (Figure out the whys and wherefores of this later)
But here’s how it ends: Jessica Lange can still give her speech, fine. But later she has to show up at their door with a suitcase. Her freespirited independent daughter inspired her to leave the bastard. She has her own reawakening! Maybe she becomes a lesbian painter! Whatever! Details. However it ends, it’s happily ever after for all involved, FIN.
Hey look! It’s the third episode of our web series Hitchin’ a Ride. In this episode, John Murray picks up Improv Everywhere founder Charlie Todd and drags him up to Times Square. Because he has to bring some random tourists he picked up to Mama Mia, naturally.
THESE ARE SO GREAT. i was worried they were going to mean to the tourists, but they weren’t THANK G. well done.
“We see you have a website here in which you give people what could best be described as arts and crafts ‘homework assignments’ of various sorts, but to be quite honest, we can’t make head or tail of it,” Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY) said while consulting a laptop in order to view one of July’s perplexing Internet outlets, learningtoloveyoumore.com. “By all outward appearances, you seem to be doing just fine, financially speaking, but if money somehow directly or indirectly changes hands due to your online activities, it’s really completely beyond us how, or to what end.”
“If, for example, I wanted to buy something from you, how would I do it?” a visibly frustrated Schumer continued. “And what would it be? Would it be something I could hold in my hands?”