As most professional bloggers can attest, there is a fine, maybe nonexistent line, between being paid to write a post and being paid to write a loosely connected string of SEO terms. One has integrity (maybe), one does not. One has soul (maybe), one does not. “What is the nature of that line, to me, a writer,” I asked myself not very seriously on a recent evening, as I tried to figure out how to get paid while never leaving my house again. I applied to three content providers. One denied me (“after careful review of your application, we have decided you are unable to write at a third grade level,” it didn’t say but should have), one hasn’t gotten back to me, and one gave me access to jobs just for signing up.
There are a number of unexciting projects to apply to on this site. A blog about cars will pay $10 per post written by “an automotive enthusiast who can let their real opinions - good or bad - come through.” A site offering ”news, ads, friends, all yours for free” (and in Comic Sans, to boot) and whose mission statement assures readers that “we are you. you are us,” is offering $3.33 for 30 tweets (competition may be stiff, as applicants must include “how many tweeter followers” they have). Also available is a project of unspecified breadth and scope for an “entertainment and lifestyle newsletter covering the best of what LA has to offer,” though apparently the best is subjective and not applicable to grammar (“events you need to be at”) or taste (“every month we spotlight a local model, giving you a glimpse of the LA scene … expect to party with our Troublemakers at our signature events”).
Two projects offered especially detailed project requests, including suggested article topics. I will share them in their entirety.
Pro Virginity Articles
Straight with no chaser appealing & witty articles for girls & young women w/pro-virginity agenda.
Promote abstinence. Flavorful, salacious, witty, charming, comical, thought provoking, provocative, hard hitting and no holds barred read, but no tip toeing or walking around on egg shells around the subject of why in the hell young girls, teens, single women should avoid premarital sex until MARRIAGE.
$20.00 Per Article
11 Total Articles + Comic
Demographic of Readers:
Girls 10 - 100
Men Interested In Pro Virgin Projects
400- 600 Word Count.
List of Articles:
1. Virginity Mindset : Top Ten Reasons To Avoid Premarital Sex written in a witty, thought provoking prose
2. Virginity Game Theory or Game Strategy
3. Virginity Trainwrecks
4. Virginity Fashion Collections For Fall
5. Virginity Advice Column Three To Five Tales of “Issues” and Advice By Our Own Grand Dame, The Virginity Diva
6. Virginity Walk of Fame : 3 Major Female Celebrities Who Are Pro Virginity and How They’re Changing The Game
7. The New Generation of Virginity
8. The Case For A Virginity Awards Show
9. Virginity Poll Articles : Thought Provoking Issues and Responses w/ Percentages
10. The Virginity Report and State of Virginity in America - Very research focused , health and wellness, biological development, mitigating factors; could be very scientific but glam’d up with a sexy editorial edge
11. Virginity Scholarships In 2012 : Help Keep Girls Focused On Fast Track Success In Education, Careers , Self Improvement and Evolution
12. Funny , Sarcastic Pro Virginity Comic Strip 6 to 10 frames
WHAT. “Men interested in pro-virgin projects” (what kind of projects? Pro-virginity craft projects? Pro-virginity woodworking projects?) “Virginity fashion collections for fall” (what does this mean, please, I must know?) My sincerest hope for this ad is that it is real and we can all enjoy the fruits of some pro-virginity content farmer’s labor in the very near future.
The second best ad might actually be the best ad.
Arab American Articles
Luxury Publication. Top of The Line Writers Only. Various Articles. See Below.
400-600 Word Count Articles
Delicious Reads That Leave Readers Salivating and Begging For More …
1. Witty Advice Column From A Middle Eastern Thought Leaders Point Of View ; Think Dear Abby - Dear Alladin
2. Classic Arab Literature w/ a Twist ( A Spicy Tale From 1001 Arabian Nights w/ a Modern Twist Tied To Beverly Hills or Hollywood)
3. Enticing, Experience Feature Rich Article Covering Top Spas and Treatments In Beverly Hills Attractive To Middle Eastern Travelers
4. Cosmetic Surgery :: Rhinoplasty and Liposuction/Liposculpture
5. Gourmet Arab Recipes
6. Arab Proverbs and Words of Wisdom
7. Famous Arab Americans : Shakira, Paula Abdul
8. High End Real Estate In 90210
9. Mid East Power Brokers
10. Doing Business In Saudi Arabia
$20.00 Per Article!!!
Quick Turn Around Time Essential.
Publish Date July 4, 2011
This is a great long term and high profile opportunity.
If you are swayed and inspired by this “high profile opportunity,” I implore you to follow your heart. You certainly won’t be stepping on my toes. Because, at some point between scheming how to write subliminal pro-sex messaging into pro-virginity articles, swapping Aladdin jokes with my boyfriend (‘"Dear Alladin [SIC], how do I stay one jump ahead of the breadline, one swing ahead of the sword?”) and consulting Wikipedia on whether Shakira is, in fact, Arab American (yes on the Arab part, no on the American part), I clicked “close tab.” Get some other lackey to write your hilarious copy for money, I thought! I’ll just write about it peripherally, for no money at all. Take that.